Ellibelli Dragon-gnome: What’s the name of this adventure? Whores of the Dragon Queen?
DM: Hoard of the Dragon Queen. Hoard!
Elli: Yeah, I’ll believe there’s treasure in this adventure when I see it.
Elli: Oh, in the last room, we found a Wand of Secrets. The command word for the wand is Rad-nu. It pulses is a trap or secret door is within 30 feet. Who wants it?
DM: It’s more of a throb than a pulse.
Alexeron Farstrider: Not me.
Adrin Magepants: No, thanks.
Marmalade Ranger-danger: Uh, no. I’m good.
Samwise Bardfast: All you, Elli. You keep your throbbing wand.
DM: There are a pair of standing stones. They have a curve at the top. Sort of an arch.
Elli: Are they yellowish?
Alexeron: NO! We are NOT at McDonalds!
Elli: Just checking.
Marmalade: I have Dragons as one of my favored enemies. I use my Primal sense to sense if there are any of my favored enemies nearby.
DM: There are (counts quickly) 10 nearby.
Marmalade: There are 11 Dragons nearby, if we count Ellibelli.
Elli: See. I told you I’m a dragon.
DM: Ellibelli isn’t registering on your dragon-sense.
Marmalade: I know where my bread is buttered.
Sam: I say “Drazir” and run in.
DM: Roll your constitution check.
Sam: (Rolls) 4
Elli: (Sighs) I drag Sam out of the way and lean him by the arrow slit room door.
DM: I’ve got to give it to you, Sam. If at first you don’t succeed, yell Drazir and try again.
DM: These are gargoyles.
Elli: Does one of them look like Michael Dorn? The Michael Dorn Gargoyle was hot?
DM: No, but one looks a little like Gilbert Godfrey.
Marmalade and Elli: (together) I target the one who looks like Gilbert Godfrey first.
Adrin: (Opens the door. Throws a fireball. Closes the Door) TROLLS!
Alexeron: (Opens the door. Casts shatter. Closes the Door) STILL TROLLS!
Alexeron: So, Adrin’s flaming sphere is blocking the door into the entry hall and the trolls are blocking the door out?
DM: Yes. And the door is on fire.
Alexeron: I cast Invisibility and move 5 feet to the right. *pop*
DM: (dice rolling behind the screen) They don’t seem to be able to find you.
DM: Elli, you hear doors opening and closing in the next rooms.
Elli: We’ve got more incoming!
DM: The door into the entryway is on fire from Adrin’s flaming sphere. The flames are licking the ceiling. The Hunting lodge is on fire.
Elli: *singing* The lodge. The lodge. The lodge is on fi-re. (stops) Sam. Among your people, you are known as Samuel Burnleaf. Adrin, from now on, you shall be known by the gnomish name Adrin Burnlodge.
Sam: (Goes up to the second story of the burning lodge)
Harvey Littlefoot: Elli, where should we go?
Elli: Sam should never should be left alone.
Harvey: Upstairs it is.
Elli: I’m sad. I had visions of Harvey and Elli’s Hunting Lodge in the future.