Christmas Scarf Ribbing Mishap of 2016

Productive knitting is knitting that goes forward, not backward. See those four rows on the right hand side, near the tip of the needle that look like ribbing? That was not “productive” knitting. That was four rows of congressive knitting (congress being the opposite of progress.)

It’s knits and purls. How hard can it be? Apparently harder than I thought.

What. The. Hell. Fingers?

The Fingers would like to point out that this is not their fault. They’re not in charge. Ask Brain, they say. Brain is “the boss” and “in charge.”

Brain disavows all involvement in the incident. Brain was engaged in obtaining a status report from SCIENCE! about the long promised instantaneous caffeine delivery system. Brain says that fingers can take care of such trivial knitting as double seed stitch without constant supervision, and besides, the update from SCIENCE was full of important data.

Instantaneous caffeine delivery is still “under development” and will be available “soon.”

Toes suggested they could easily take over since Fingers obviously couldn’t handle a simple job, to which Fingers replied, “Shove it in your sock, shoe dweller.”

Rather than listen to such partisan ad hominid attacks, I ignored them and set about figuring out what my options were. Ultimately I had two choices: Frog back to the last good row and redo the last four rows correctly, or successively drop down each of the 10 stitches involved in the Christmas Scarf Ribbing Mishap of 2016 and fix them in situ.

Recalling the Great Sleeve Mishap of 2008, which lead to both an entire sweater walking the long green mile to the frog pond and my current lack of status as a “sweater knitter,” I decided to fix the stitches in place, even though I knew it was likely to take a whole tomato.

It actually took 20 minutes, so most of a tomato.

I think it looks pretty good. Now if I can just find a few more hours before Christmas that aren’t already scheduled. 


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