I am sitting in the dark and I am tired. This year has been long, so very long. I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to make it this far.
You may not have noticed it, but I’ve been battling with my health behind the scenes. I’ve been trying to keep everything appearing normal while we figure out what all is wrong and get it under control. Things aren’t under control by any stretch.
I’ve been trying to keep the depth of it from my friends, from my family, from this blog. Until I really know what’s wrong, I don’t want anyone to worry. I’m just so tired and the constant effort to keep up appearances? Some days it’s everything I can do just to keep up with The Day Job, let alone anyone and anything else.
It’s been a tough year for everyone. I know that. I don’t want to be a burden. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep up appearances.
Tomorrow is my last official work day this year. After that, I’m on Winter Shutdown from The Day Job and won’t officially return to work until January 3. (I have a small Shutdown task to do, but I think that will only take part of a day next week.)
It’s the longest night of the year and I feel the depth of it in my marrow. Tomorrow the night will once again recede. I’ll get a few days of respite because of Shutdown. I need them to recharge.
Please let them be enough for me to recharge.