Now with extended Monday feeling

I have systematically broken every nail this week (and it’s only Tuesday).

I have blisters under the adhesive of my wound vac bandage (vac change is tomorrow morning).

Every project I want to start at home with yarn has a critical piece missing like no orange yarn that feels “just right” for a candy corn shawl and no red yarn for a Wonder Woman Shawl.

Time to recalibrate

Can’t fix the nails. They’re gone. Back to square one with that.

At least tomorrow is bandage day. I’m going to talk to the Wound Care Doctor and see if there’s something different we can do to protect my skin. Wednesday morning is going to be a tough morning no matter what we decide to do.

The Wonder Woman shawl seems like it’s on hold for a while unless I think about doing it in shades of gold and brown instead of red and yellow. I’m okay with putting it on a shelf for the time being. I rewatched Wonder Woman over the weekend and I really feel I’m more of an Etta Candy than a Wonder Woman. (Meaning, I get three scenes in the whole film, but I steal them when I’m there.)

Likewise, maybe I should rethink the seasonal shawl. I was looking at the harvest colors in my stash and I kept thinking “Indian corn,” either like the candy corn with brown on the end instead of yellow or like the the beautiful ears of maize that are becoming endangered crops.

I am left with questions. Are we allowed to call the candy Indian corn? Is that culturally insensitve? Should I call the corn “flint corn” instead of “Indian corn” even though all I mean is the beautiful multi-colored corn grown by indigenous people and not specifically “flint corn” vs “dent corn,” which is a different distinction entirely? Am I the only person who thinks about these things?

Either way, going with a white, dark orange, and brown color scheme might be less “Halloween season” and more generally wearable throughout the year. White, orange, and yellow screams “Halloween season” to me, even if it doesn’t to anyone else, so I know I’ll be likely to reserve it for that instead of just wearing and enjoying it.

With a bit of luck, this extended Monday feeling will fade before it extends into Wednesday. Hey, a person can hope, right?

More from the harvest

Bell peppers and three different varieties of tomatoes from my garden.

Aren’t they pretty? They tasted as good as they look. I made a ragout of onions, green peppers, tomatoes, spinach, and northern beans spiced with ginger and rosemary and served it on a sweet potato. It sounds a little odd, but it was very tasty.

Game Night Highlights for 10082017

GM as Talis the White: Sheath your weapons, fools.

Ellibelli Stabby-sneaky: Does she have people with her?

GM: Yes.

Elli: *to the people with Talis* Yeah! Sheath your weapons, fools.

After a long discussion of where everyone is and why Talis the White shouldn’t be casting spells at us.

Elli: We just didn’t want to die horribly in the hall. We’d like to choose where we die horribly.

Marmalade Ranger-danger: S-U-T, S-U-L-B.

GM: What are you doing?

Marmalade: Reminding you that we don’t know how to spell “subtle.”

Adrin: *reveals his face to Talis, his childhood friend* We need to talk, old friend.

GM as Talis: Ah, Adrin. I knew it was you by the amount of collateral damage to my lodge.

GM: For the most part, the rooms in the lodge are very well-appointed.

Elli: Except for the ones that are smoke damaged. *high fives Adrin Burnlodge and Alexeron Farstrider*

GM as Talis: Rezmir follows Severin the Red. He is even more the fool than the lot of you to try to try to raise the Queen of Dragons.

Elli: That’s what we’ve been saying.

Talis the White: I am infinitely more qualified to wear the white mask than Varrom.

Elli: Varrom the so-called white. *writes down the name* I just want to make sure to delivery your regards to the right person when I’m stabbing them.

GM: The name of the town is Parnast.

Elli: Porn-nest?


Damn it, Sully Cat. You are not the Spine of the World. GM: Roll Initiative.

Healing progress

On Friday we measured my healing process again. I would have posted about that on Friday, but the first week back at work wiped me out. I was too tired to process how I feel about my progress, let alone write coherent sentences.

Last time we measured, I’d healed a full centimeter. This week, I also healed a centimeter. Assuming my healing process stays consistent, which it is expected to, I will have the Bellysucker 9000 with me for another 4 weeks.

I’ve been told that that kind of healing process is amazing, that I’m doing spectacularly well. I’ve been told I should be very pleased with how things are going. There are people who spend over a year going to the healing center and never have more than a millimeter a week of healing progress. I’m a fantastic healer.

I talked with a friend who had a post surgical wound open up and he said it took him six months to heal up what I’m expected to heal in four weeks.

I wish I felt pleased. I feel like if I were so damned fantastic at healing, I wouldn’t be hooked up to the Bellysucker 9000 right now. I feel like an ingrate for not appreciating that some people wish they healed like I do. Parts of my belly scar that closed properly in the first place are already starting to fade back to normal.

It’s not that I don’t feel grateful. Obviously, there are people who have it much worse than I do. I understand that, but I just feel like it should have already been over. What the hell is wrong with me that I opened back up in the first place? But there’s really nothing. Just me lugging my noisy vacuum pump along with me as I’m trying to settle back into normality, only there’s no normality when the vacuum pump is chugging along arhytmically because there’s a tiny leak in the bandage I can’t find to seal off.

If it were rhythmic, I could let the pump fade into the background. It took me three pieces of extra tape after I got home to find the leak this time and get it sealed up so that the vac runs silently for the most part.

I had to find it. The noisy thing was keeping me from sleeping. I got it calmed down enough to drift off after two pieces of tape at 2:45 AM. I shut the damned thing completely up this morning. Well, mostly. It will always have a little bit of catch up because while the tape is good, it’s not hermetically bonded to my skin. The idea even sounds painful.

Monday, when we change the bandage next, that’s when the hunt for leaks will start again. It seems like it’s always something. There’s a difference between lying on a bed in the Healing Center while they’re changing the dressing and moving around in daily life.

At least I can move around and start really having my daily life again. Some of the people who are being seen in the wound center don’t have that ability yet. They’re bodies are only giving it back to them a milimeter at a time.

I wonder if this qualifies me as having a real super power?


I only shower right before dressing changes. That way if there’s a problem (read: dressing failure), I’m already scheduled to go in for a dressing change. On off days I sponge bath and use baby wipes to stay clean.

I hate it. I want to feel safe to shower whenever I please. I don’t, though. I’m terrified of showering. I discovered my incision had broken open after a shower and every time I shower, no matter how carefully I do, I’m afraid I’m going to be patting my belly dry and come up with a towel full of blood again.

Tonight I had a mini panic. I found serious fluid on the front of my underwear as I was throwing them into the hamper after my shower tonight. My dressing has been leaking, but the vac hasn’t been alarming. In theory, it’s still okay, but call me paranoid.  I don’t trust the incision to really be healing. I don’t trust that it won’t break open.

When it first broke open, I put my hand in the wound to check to make sure that my guts weren’t falling out before I decided whether I was calling my surgeon to tell them I was going the ER or that I needed to come down to see them. It was a real risk at that point.

I don’t trust the incision to really be healing. I don’t trust that it won’t break open again. It was like living my own private horror show and until everything’s all closed up, it won’t really be over.

I had a little freak out because I showered oblivious to the fact that the dressing was leaking. Had I known, I would have reinforced things before showering. Instead, I was left with very carefully patting my belly dry and pressing down the existing dressing before reinforcing it to try to make it the 8-ish hours until my dressing change appointment.

Hopefully, I’ve done a good enough job that I won’t wake up to the unit alarming and have to do a wet to dry dressing in the middle of the night. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to sleep instead of sitting up worrying about whether or not the Bellysucker 9000 is going to alarm.

Super Friends

Thank you for the AWESOME pillow, Jae! I love it so much!

This pillow arrived in the mail yesterday, from my (Super) friend Jae, who crafted it up. It’s the same size as Gary the Pillow (who I still need to bling up, too.) Now I have a color scheme to work with for it.

At some point, I envision a pillow fight between Gary and Selena the Super-pillow. I’d say Marlena the Meta-pillow, but that’s Barbara Gordon Batgirl in that print. To my knowledge, Babs has never been classed as a true Meta.

I’m not sure who would win if they did throw down in a pillow fight, though. Gary’s not a villainous pillow and no pillow with the Super Women of DC could be villainous, either, so it would be the classic “Marvel Misunderstanding” if they did. Maybe they’re too smart to fight each other. We’ll see, once Gary’s in his costume.

Game Night Highlights for 10012017

Ellibelli Dragon-gnome: What’s the name of this adventure? Whores of the Dragon Queen?

DM: Hoard of the Dragon Queen. Hoard!

Elli: Yeah, I’ll believe there’s treasure in this adventure when I see it.

Elli: Oh, in the last room, we found a Wand of Secrets. The command word for the wand is Rad-nu. It pulses is a trap or secret door is within 30 feet. Who wants it?

DM: It’s more of a throb than a pulse.

Alexeron Farstrider: Not me.

Adrin Magepants: No, thanks.

Marmalade Ranger-danger: Uh, no. I’m good.

Samwise Bardfast: All you, Elli. You keep your throbbing wand.

DM: There are a pair of standing stones. They have a curve at the top. Sort of an arch.

Elli: Are they yellowish?

Alexeron: NO! We are NOT at McDonalds!

Elli: Just checking.

Marmalade: I have Dragons as one of my favored enemies. I use my Primal sense to sense if there are any of my favored enemies nearby.

DM: There are (counts quickly) 10 nearby.

Marmalade: There are 11 Dragons nearby, if we count Ellibelli.

Elli: See. I told you I’m a dragon.

DM: Ellibelli isn’t registering on your dragon-sense.

Marmalade: I know where my bread is buttered.

Sam: I say “Drazir” and run in.

DM: Roll your constitution check.

Sam: (Rolls) 4

Elli: (Sighs) I drag Sam out of the way and lean him by the arrow slit room door.

DM: I’ve got to give it to you, Sam. If at first you don’t succeed, yell Drazir and try again.

DM: These are gargoyles.

Elli: Does one of them look like Michael Dorn? The Michael Dorn Gargoyle was hot?

DM: No, but one looks a little like Gilbert Godfrey.

Marmalade and Elli: (together) I target the one who looks like Gilbert Godfrey first.

Adrin: (Opens the door. Throws a fireball. Closes the Door) TROLLS!

Alexeron: (Opens the door. Casts shatter. Closes the Door) STILL TROLLS!

Alexeron: So, Adrin’s flaming sphere is blocking the door into the entry hall and the trolls are blocking the door out?

DM: Yes. And the door is on fire.

Alexeron: I cast Invisibility and move 5 feet to the right. *pop*

DM: (dice rolling behind the screen) They don’t seem to be able to find you.

DM: Elli, you hear doors opening and closing in the next rooms.

Elli: We’ve got more incoming!

DM: The door into the entryway is on fire from Adrin’s flaming sphere. The flames are licking the ceiling. The Hunting lodge is on fire.

Elli: *singing* The lodge. The lodge. The lodge is on fi-re. (stops) Sam. Among your people, you are known as Samuel Burnleaf. Adrin, from now on, you shall be known by the gnomish name Adrin Burnlodge.

Sam: (Goes up to the second story of the burning lodge)

Harvey Littlefoot: Elli, where should we go?

Elli: Sam should never should be left alone.

Harvey: Upstairs it is.

Elli: I’m sad. I had visions of Harvey and Elli’s Hunting Lodge in the future.

Halloween Season

Halloween Season has officially begun, kicking off the holiday season with a disturbingly loud creek and unsettling thump in the middle of the night. I enjoy the season. For a small part of the year, I don’t have to explain my skull socks, spiderweb scarf, or the brain-shaped stress ball on my desk at work. As the days grow shorter and the leaves begin to turn in earnest, everyone indulges in their inner macabre and for a short time, it turns into Halloween Town.
My hooks and needles are itching to get into more yarn as I settle in under blankets for the evenings and enjoy my favorite spooky shows and films old and new. I’m hoping to get enough time to watch Riverdale season 1 before Halloween as well as finish up Van Helsing Season 1, which Dr. Roommate started binging. I also need to view the anime Another somewhere in there. I tried starting this when I was first recovering from surgery, but I couldn’t focus, and Another is a show that you need to focus on if you’re going to enjoy all the frightful treasures in it.
I did finish Castlevania (Netflix original series). At four episodes, it was just about the right length for what I could handle at the time, though it did leave me wanting more.

Trevor Belmont saying “I don’t care.” He really does, you know. He’s not fooling anyone.

Netflix, like Trevor Belmont, didn’t care. It made four episodes for the first season, and that was it. Thankfully, enough people did respond positively to it that Netflix renewed it renewed for a second season of eight episodes, which seems about the right number of episodes. That’s not until 2018, however, so I’ve got plenty of time to get lots of other things watched between now and then.