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The meme says your profile picture will be what you have to save yourself in the zombie apocalypse (ZA). 

Hello, cup of “poison” tea.

I’m going to be well-caffeineated when the ZA hits. That’s going to count for something. Anyone groggy when their friends, family, coworkers, and random fellows on the street suddenly go all dead and brain-eating won’t have nearly the advantage their alert and well-caffeineated compadres when the competition for survival starts.

Rule One of Zombieland is Cardio. To escape a pursuing zombie you will need to out-run it, and this means being in good shape.

I’m not saying that cardiovascular health isn’t important, but I would say I’d put my money on the well caffeineated guy in average shape above the groggy guy in great shape. If you’re not sharp enough to spot the threat during the ZA, you’re more likely to be Zed-fodder before you can take off running.

Obviously, it’s not a long term strategy. Caffeine sources will eventually dry up in the northern parts of North America. Neither is holing up in your neighborhood warehouse store much of a plan. Too many other people will have that idea to make it terribly effective as a strategy for ZA living, not to mention the impracticality of holding such a large area with so many potential hiding spaces for the living dead. 

Making a southerly trek to take advantage of the Yaupon Holly, a cousin of Yerba Mate that grows in the southern United States, is a possibility, but may not be practical in all situations. I know it’s edible and has a caffeine content. 

I don’t know how it tastes.

I don’t know that it matters how it tastes if you need caffiene boost. Zombie Apocalypse or no, I’m willing to find out. Any source of caffeine is a friend of mine.

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