Category Archives: normality sucks

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The meme says your profile picture will be what you have to save yourself in the zombie apocalypse (ZA). 

Hello, cup of “poison” tea.

I’m going to be well-caffeineated when the ZA hits. That’s going to count for something. Anyone groggy when their friends, family, coworkers, and random fellows on the street suddenly go all dead and brain-eating won’t have nearly the advantage their alert and well-caffeineated compadres when the competition for survival starts.

Rule One of Zombieland is Cardio. To escape a pursuing zombie you will need to out-run it, and this means being in good shape.

I’m not saying that cardiovascular health isn’t important, but I would say I’d put my money on the well caffeineated guy in average shape above the groggy guy in great shape. If you’re not sharp enough to spot the threat during the ZA, you’re more likely to be Zed-fodder before you can take off running.

Obviously, it’s not a long term strategy. Caffeine sources will eventually dry up in the northern parts of North America. Neither is holing up in your neighborhood warehouse store much of a plan. Too many other people will have that idea to make it terribly effective as a strategy for ZA living, not to mention the impracticality of holding such a large area with so many potential hiding spaces for the living dead. 

Making a southerly trek to take advantage of the Yaupon Holly, a cousin of Yerba Mate that grows in the southern United States, is a possibility, but may not be practical in all situations. I know it’s edible and has a caffeine content. 

I don’t know how it tastes.

I don’t know that it matters how it tastes if you need caffiene boost. Zombie Apocalypse or no, I’m willing to find out. Any source of caffeine is a friend of mine.

A Small Assortment of Quotes on Being Normal

I spent my writing time today in a class on Mausoleums, because that’s research for the story I’m working on. I’ve done no knitting or crocheting and I feel no shame about it. 

Untrue. I’ve made several swatches which I’ve ripped out because I didn’t like them enough to share them. Swatches are to knitting and crocheting what research  is to writing: necessary, but only worth sharing when you’ve learned something. Well, at least something more than “well, that didn’t work like I thought I did.

I considered writing a post about feeling sad and maybe a little insulted that one of my coworkers though my normal clothing was a costume, but it’s Halloween and I was wearing my spiderweb scarf with a grey dress, so I suppose I could have been going for something other than “I like this outfit and this scarf is my one concession to the holiday,” but I actually thought it was funny.

Instead, I present a small assortment of quotes on being normal (or not, as the case may be.)

“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.” – Aunt Frances

― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic

“I, myself, am strange and unusual.”

– Lydia Deets, Beetlejuice 

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are some one else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
― Oscar Wilde