Na na na na na na na na Bobble Bat
At work, Bobble-head Batman sits on my desk. He was a 2011 Christmas gift from my roommate. Every day at the start of the day I make his over-sized head bobble before sitting down to work. When I start stressing out because it seems like too many things are coming due all at the same time and they’re all on my desk waiting for input from me, I make his head bobble. It never fails to make me smile.
I don’t smile enough. It makes me appear stand-offish, hard to approach, and overly serious. I’ve had work acquaintances comment on it. I’ve had friends take me aside and talk to me about it. I’m sure it’s one of the reasons I don’t get date offers any more. (One of the other reasons is my weight. At 258 lbs, I’m seriously obese and fat girls get no love, but that’s a topic for another day.)
The thing is, while I am a serious person, I’m really not overly serious. I love all kinds of silly things and I’m constantly joking with my friends. I just find it hard to turn on a smile without actually having a reason. It feels fake to me.
It’s a little thing. Flick one of the points on the top of his head. Bobble. Bobble. Bobble. Smile. Return to work less stressed out about the still large pile of things coming to a boiling point on my desk.
I wish I could carry it everywhere, so I could turn on that smile at will during the day. Walking down the hall heading to the bathroom at 11:00 because I haven’t been since 7AM because my desk has been non-stop fires and someone wants to catch me for something else?
Bobble. Bobble. Bobble. Smile. Sure, what do you need? I don’t really need to pee. Honest. Ok, maybe I do. Can I catch you in 5?
Someone shows up as I’m pulling on my coat to run home for to head to lunch because it’s 12:00 and I’m dieting and my stomach lining is eating itself because I had two hard-boiled eggs and tea without sugar for breakfast at 6 AM and could hold off for an hour so I can re-roll the numbers on the bid I’m pulling together because someone had to rework their bit right up to the last minute because they couldn’t be bothered to follow directions in the first place?
Bobble. Bobble. Bobble. Smile. Sure thing. I can miss a meal or two. After all, I’ve got some cushion and I can laugh about it. And don’t I have some almonds stashed at my desk for emergencies anyway?
Limping down the hall because my arthritis is kicking my ass, but it bothers someone because I look like I’m in pain and they tell me to smile?
Bobble. Bobble. Bobble. Why not? Just because I’m in pain today doesn’t mean that I can’t spare a smile.
It is harder, though, when my hip, back, and ankle grind with every step. The thing is, just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m miserable. Hell, even when I am miserable (and believe me, there are days that are just that: miserable) doesn’t mean two steps away from crawling into a hole from depression. I’m comfortable accepting that life isn’t always pleasant and I don’t always have to be smiling to be generally satisfied with things.
That’s why Bobble Batman sits on my desk in the first place. He’s a little reminder that just because right at this moment I might not be having a great time of things that doesn’t mean that there’s no little joys in my life. I got my reports out on time. We made our deadlines. My pain medication is working or the heating pad feels nice. Bobble Batman stands there and bobbles at my every whim, and it never fails to bring a smile to my face – and that smile might just be what someone else needs to feel better.